A Fresh Start with lululemon

January 13, 2015

JACKET lululemon Spring Fling Puffy Windbreaker | PANTS lululemon Speed Tight II Run Tights | TOP lululemon Turn It Up Long Sleeve Top

I've always struggled with my weight. In high school, I thought I had my health under control because I had power over what stayed in my stomach—and what didn’t. In college, I thought I had control because I could hide a growing waistline under clothing. I've never had control. Until now.

I am blessed to have hips, and I love how my lines create an hourglass figure. But as I gained weight during the last five years, those lines disappeared. I could no longer be "proud of my curves" because they were nonexistent. My Swedish face is naturally round, but it’s one of the first places to show weight gain, so I started gathering my hair around my chin to cover up what was happening. I couldn’t button my pants, so I’d wear giant sweaters. I could distract myself from what was happening with stilettos and big shiny jewelry.

I always told myself I would “fix” it. My weight never felt permanent, even in the moments when I despaired and thought this is who I am now. And it's not like I didn't put forth a little effort every once a while. I would start attending a 6:00am spin class, then quit. I would buy only vegetables and throw them all out when they started to mold. I even went to a hypnotist and spent the whole time thinking Well this is just stupid, I’d like a cheeseburger please. I've tried diet pills, diet drinks, cleanses, jumping jacks in my living room, leg lifts in bed, and wore Spanx on a daily basis. I remember trying to regulate my eating to one apple every three days. I even made an over-the-phone purchase to an Insanity workout telemarketer at 2:00am on a Monday night while eating ice cream.

My unhappiness was right in front of your face. It’s not like I could smile and hide it, because if I smiled, my face looked bigger.

I don’t know what clicked, but eventually it was just too much. Quite frankly, I’m a busy person. I don’t have time for my pants not to fit. And in April 2014, I made the change and never looked back. Starting with two-a-day workouts and writing down every bit of food I ate, I learned to hold myself accountable. I forced myself, hour by hour, to do the right thing. As others who have lost weight know, it’s a process of driving yourself crazy. Really, truly crazy. But every day was a little bit better, and eventually the accountability was incorporated into my life, and it became robotic

As the months passed, my weight dropped. I watched myself transform in the mirror, in my clothes, and in my own mind. I threw out all my Spanx. I went from being the girl who once spent $43.17 at McDonald’s to getting excited about new things to do with an avocado.

This is something I will have to work at my whole life. I’m learning to be proud of my own body, and I’m teaching myself to treasure my own skin. Here I am, 40 pounds lighter, and feeling better than I ever have.

I hope by sharing I can impart some hope to those who feel like it’s impossible. The answer was me; your answer is you.  Going forward, I’ll be sharing tips for weight loss, favorite workouts, healthy eating options, and my take on a healthy lifestyle.

John Branam Photography

I'm so excited to be representing lululemon during my fresh new start on a healthy lifestyle.  Just like I have made myself a promise to sweat a little bit everyday, so has lululemon, taking pride in "breathing deeply, drinking water and getting outside."